She pulls open the door to the café and waits for me to go through, and then changes the conversation. “I'm going to miss it when I graduate in the spring-The sorority and Andrew.” And living in the sorority house is great, there's always someone to talk to.” She throws another smile at me, and I try to smile back, but still feel wary, like she's talking around something. “I never had a sister before, but now I have lots of them. I pull out my sunglasses, feeling a little better with half of my face covered, but I'm still prickling with nervous energy. A hint of cool air blows through the warm sunny day. You learn the value of friendship and what it means to be a sister.” She pauses and glances at me as we exit the building. “Oh, yeah.” Relief floods me but guilt is quick to fill the space.
Her smile drops some, but she laughs it off. “What?” I ask, nerves making it hard to understand her question. “I'm only going to the small cafe next door, not the bigger one in the union. She starts walking but pauses to make sure I'm following. “I'm going to get coffee before my next class, come with.” “I heard you came to the mixer this weekend? What did you think? Are you going to pledge Sigma Delta in the spring?” She nods towards the hallway without waiting for an answer. I cringe and turn, sure all my thoughts are scrolling across my forehead. “Brooklyn, wait up,” Tatum's melodic voice calls out to me. When class is over, I don't waste time, and as soon as I have my sweats over my leotard, I make for the exit before any others. He's hijacked my thoughts, and I keep replaying last night and all the different ways it could have gone. I go through the movements, mind always half occupied unwillingly.
Others are filing in, and we all line up to begin class. She smiles at me, but doesn't break her conversation with our instructor. Still, I can't get my mind to shut off, no matter how I force it to. I can't even imagine why he'd want to sleep with me when she's got a body like a goddess. I was a fool to think he ever wanted anything more than a quick lay when he has her.
The thoughts are enough to make me blush as I walk into the dance studio, but the sight of Tatum blows away the lust that’s still clinging on. I hold onto that feeling so it can erase the memory of his hands on me, the taste of his lips, the smell of his skin, the heat of his body wrapped around mine, supporting me.
I still feel the sting of Andrew's accusations the next day, thankfully. And as I slip under the sheets of my bed, I let the weight of his words squeeze out my sadness and cry into my pillow. But it's hard to pretend when you're alone.
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